How long has it been since I've felt like myself? I guess the only real answer would be 'When I'm around him.' Cheesy, and probably worth getting a pair of eyes rolled at me, but it's the truth. It was as if the whole world didn't matter, and if I could just stay near him, I could be myself, without the fear of trying to impress anybody, or step on any toes with how I really feel about things. How long had I gone without that feeling? Looking back, it's like, I blacked out for the past few years. It's just a blur. I remember being unsatisfied and unhappy in my first relationship, dissapointed really. Then I mix in all the years of self-conciousness that arose from my childhood, thanks to my family. I won't blame them for all of it, but they didn't help.
"Jessica, you need to get bigger clothes...Jessica, try fitting into these shoes 3 sizes too small for you...Jessica, stop drinking so much milk, you're bones are already big enough..."
Ah, the things I've been told...
No, I haven't really felt like much of a person in the past year.
Except when I'm with him.
No comments:
Post a Comment