Yellow

I need inspiration.

When it does come, it fades away into nothing.

I read "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" today. I hate to be cliche, but it was amazing. But I think that if I would have read it more in my younger angst days, I would have gotten more out of it. I couldn't help but be sad for 'Charlie', and happy for him all at the same time.

And last night, my car died. Right on the highway. I was lucky enough to have enough sense to pull to the shoulder of the road before it breathed a last breath. And of course, the one time I forget my cellphone, I need it.

Walking in the dark in my pajamas, at 10:30 at night, three miles from home, was horrible. My dad called not too long ago to tell me that it's going to cost us $1,000 to fix the car on which we are already 5 months behind in payments on. AND, we still owe a lawyer a few thousand.

So in conclusion, my mother will now panic, become irritable. My father will work endlessly and feel terrible about having me help pay for the car. Which leaves me, I'll end up working non-stop, dishing out my small paycheck for insurance and car repairs.

I envy my friends in school. They don't realise how difficult shit can be sometimes.

Fuck.

I need something good to happen.